I got to help make breakfast today. Hashbrowns and scrambled eggs with veggies. Got frustrated with all the interruptions while trying to finish my last announcement email. Took Traci to the airport. Went to Extracto Coffee where I finally finished the email and put up some pictures from the memorial reception.
Aquaintances are a real problem in situations like these. I'm grateful that I'm able to function in public and don't feel the need to unburden onto everyone with a familiar face (or grocery clerks who ask "How's life treating you?" But it's still hard. I ran into someone I've known since my Eugene days at New Seasons last night and at the coffee shop today. I envision them slowly walking towards a trap door over a deep hole as they wave and then get close enough for conversation:
"Hey, how's it going?"
"Crappy, my mom died last week, how are you?"
Yeah, see how that doesn't really go over? I have enough outlets for processing, I've decided to just refrain unless things are actually steered in that direction. Seems better for everyone that way.
It's probably worse for the people who already know, but I haven't seen them since. They feel awkward, want to say something but don't know what...worse for them than for me really.
I went to Moms' (that's my grandmother on my dad's side, not to be confused with mom, the departed) house for a little ice cream n cake celebration of her birthday today. Ironically, this will be the first year I've actually remembered her birthday and gotten a card on time. I heard some great stories while I was there including one about me and my great grandmother that I can neither confirm nor deny.
Apparently when I was little, I went to stay with Granana and in an impatient moment had the great folly to choose to hit her. Naturally she tanned my hide to within and inch of my life. The next day when I arrived, I said, "Hi Granana." She said, "Hi K." And then I said, "Now, we're not going to hit each other today, are we?" She had to go in the other room and laugh. But like I said, I don't remember this, so we just have my grandmother's word on it. :)
Tonight I went to my first fun outing in the new world, a Dirty Martini show at the Doug Fir. I couldn't think of a nicer way to reenter the 'real world.' A nice group of friends showed up, and we had a great time. McKinley dedicated a song for me, which was totally sweet. A little rockin' out and head banging is good for the soul.
Tomorrow, we're off to the beach.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
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